Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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