I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
