god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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