i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
how drunk are you?
Several
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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