Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
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So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
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I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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