is your mom at the bar?
need another drink. this is the easiest way
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize