i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
