great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
