he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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