you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Having a random hookup so left but love u
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
