Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
