if you like me you must not know who I am
and she was petting her beer can
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
there is another microwave in the elevator.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
