Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize