quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
