i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
This baby is an asshole
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
