That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
did you just send me my own nude
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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