im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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