I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
