im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
