so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
