Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
