I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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