we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
