I could have mohawked her pubes.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
