It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
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The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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