you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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