if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
what the fuck happened to the tacos
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
