you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
