He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
handjob tips. give me some.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
