Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
