I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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