I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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