Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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