Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
