I love black thongs
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Randomize
