There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
