So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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