Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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