am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
