i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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