in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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