so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
