3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
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I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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