Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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