That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I don't deserve a penis
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
