Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
i now understand why vodka
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize