its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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