the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
