I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
