The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
We got so high we made milksteak
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
