I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
zippers are such a cool invention
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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