Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
