im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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