Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
