It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
