So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
