Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
